i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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