I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
