I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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