Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if only i could text you this smell
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
