Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Semen is not good for contacts.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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