The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
