the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You made out with two different species that night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
