is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
