Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
