I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
