I want to make a zoo with you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
