I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
