i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
