so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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