...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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