Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
