if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
