when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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