This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
