I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
