It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
