return my video game
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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