you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize