You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
