Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
