I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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