I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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