nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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