My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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