You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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