Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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