you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
