kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
