and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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