thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
