I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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