Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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