Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
