If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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