I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
where am i from again
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
