I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
