loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
