Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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