And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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