i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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