she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
