I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Success! We fucked roommates!
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