I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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