He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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