When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
