she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think i have two assholes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
