no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
