hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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