How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
