Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize