Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My cat gives me a boner
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
