I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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