That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
