I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize