I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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