Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
