Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
