is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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