george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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