We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
handjob tips. give me some.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
