When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
